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The real actresses do not belong to SAG or AFTRA because their roles never change. The roles these women play last for life and sometimes death. Most of us would never recognize them because of their great acting abilities. They wear the latest fashions, their hair, nails and makeup is just too perfect. Their silent cries for help is only heard when you stop and look into their faces, then and only then you can see the fear and despair in their eyes. Arlene T. Dyer, author, motivational speaker and educator knows first hand the life of a battered woman. She wrote the book, Escaping to the Workplace addressing the growing trend of women battered at home, respected at work. The New York Daily News dedicated a whole page to her book in their family section using the title "Work as a Haven From Horrors at Home." Ms. Dyer admits she was not a battered woman for very long. "But it doesn't take much to know that you are in trouble," she said, "Maybe I was in that brief situation so I could write about the reasons women stay. I know how frightening it is. You have to be spiritually minded. You must pray and you can get out safely." Arlene tells of her life changing experience, "I was praying to God to remove me from this terrible situation and He answered by telling me, 'I have your back, you don't have to worry about your safety, but I need you to help your friend to safely get away.' The plan was launched for her friend and her family to flee from California and began a new life." Dyer states, my friend called to say, "We are all safe. God bless you and thank you again." Arlene T. Dyer believes God's purpose for her was to create MAMA (Making A Major Adjustment) to help all women who are ready to make major changes in their lives become a reality.
YOU KNOW?
Almost one half of the domestic violence homicides in the state took place in Los Angeles County although we constitute only one third of the state's population Domestic Violence is the number one leading cause of injury to women in the United States, exceeding the numbers of rapes, muggings, auto accidents and cancer death combined. The purpose of MAMA, (Making A Major Adjustment) is to unite women who have a common background or interest, who have been abused mentally, physically or emotionally and are ready to make some changes in their lives. Battered women now include an alarming high rate of young teenage girls. Women are from all types of life styles, high society to welfare recipients. They consist of all races, colors and creeds that have become victims of domestic violence. MAMA will work with women in groups of twenty. The number twenty has been proven to be a comfortable number in a forum allowing people to share honestly with others pertaining to very personal matters. MAMA will offer six sessions dealing with a series of behaviors typically demonstrated by batterers. This will help you recognize if you or someone you know is in a violent relationship. MAMA will foster a special bonding among the participants similar to a sorority. They would have someone to call and discuss problems with that already know their story, someone they can trust. MAMA will help you take back control of your life, build self-esteem, make wiser choices and start living a happy successful life. MAMA
caring for hurting people Anyone
interested in being a part of MAMA WARNING LIST This list identifies a series of behaviors typically demonstrated by batters and potential batters. All of these forms of abuse, psychological, economic and physical - come from the batter's desire for power and control. The list can help you recognize if you or someone you know is in a violent relationship. Check off those behaviors that apply to the relationship. The more checks on the page, the more dangerous the situation maybe. Emotional and Economic Attacks: Destructive Criticism/Verbal Abuse: Name-calling; mocking; accusing; blaming; yelling; swearing; making humiliating remarks or gestures. Pressure Tactics: Rushing you to make decisions through "guilt-tripping" and other forms of intimidation; sulking; threatening to withhold money; manipulating the children; telling you what to do. Abusing Authority: Always claiming to be right (insisting statements are "the truth"); telling you what to do; making big decisions; using "logic." Disrespect: Interrupting; changing topics; not listening or responding; twisting your words; putting you down in front of other people; saying bad things about your friends and family. Abusing Trust: Lying; withholding information; cheating on you; being overly jealous. Breaking Promises: Not following through on agreements; not taking a fair share of responsibility; refusing to help with child care or housework. Emotional Withholding: Not expressing feelings; not giving support, attention, or compliments; not respecting feelings, rights, or opinions. Minimizing, Denying & Blaming: Making light of behavior and not taking your concerns about it seriously; saying the abuse didn't happen; shifting responsibility for abusive behavior, saying you caused it. Economic Control: Interfering with your work or not letting you work; refusing to give you or taking your money; taking your car keys or otherwise preventing you from using the car; threatening to report you to welfare or other social service agencies. Self-Destructive Behavior: Abusing drugs or alcohol; threatening suicide or other forms of self-harm; deliberately saying or doing things that will have negative consequences (e.g., telling off the boss) Isolation: Preventing or making it difficult for you to see friends or relatives; monitoring phone calls; telling you where you cannot go. Harassment: Making uninvited visits or calls; following you; checking up on you; embarrassing you in public; refusing to leave when asked. Acts of Violence: Intimidation: Making angry or threatening gestures; use of physical size to intimidate; standing in doorway during arguments; out shouting you; driving recklessly. Destruction: Destroying your possessions (e.g. furniture); punching walls; throwing and/or breaking things. Threats: Making and/or carrying out threats to hurt you or others. Sexual Violence: Degrading treatment based on your sex or sexual orientation; using force, threats or coercion to obtain sex or perform sexual acts. Physical Violence: Being violent to you, your children, household pets or others: Slapping; punching; grabbing; kicking; choking; pushing; biting; burning; stabbing; shooting; etc... Weapons: Use of weapons, keeping weapons around which frighten you; threatening or attempting to kill you or those you love.
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© 2007 Arlene T Dyer and Explorer Studios, Inc. and its related entities. All rights reserved. The materials on this web site are not to be sold, traded, or given away. Any copying, manipulation, publishing, or other transfer of these materials, is strictly prohibited. Please contact our Webmaster with questions or comments.